


A Day in the Life ~ September 2018

by ERamos9696, happy29



Series: A Day in the Life [15]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-07-27 03:59:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 6,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16210952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ERamos9696/pseuds/ERamos9696, https://archiveofourown.org/users/happy29/pseuds/happy29
Summary: Summer has come and gone and Steve and Danno face new challenges both at work and in their personal lives. Kids are growing up and emotions are running rampant in the McGarrett-Williams household. Follow Steve and Danny through another month of daily text message exchanges.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ERamos9696](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ERamos9696/gifts), [Deezer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deezer/gifts), [DominicRichenel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DominicRichenel/gifts), [FluffyFluffyFish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyFluffyFish/gifts), [Stacey0369](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stacey0369/gifts), [stevedannolover100781](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevedannolover100781/gifts), [Kad527](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kad527/gifts), [Nenuial](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nenuial/gifts), [KatieTaylor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieTaylor/gifts).



> September 2018... WOW!! To all of our followers from the ones from the very beginning to the newcomers and the ones we picked up along the journey, We love you ALL!!!! To all the guests that leave kudos each month, this month is for you!! This has been such an amazing journey and creative process for myself and ERamos9696. We were just talking the other day how this idea of ours has transformed into such a complex story. We have to have notes on what has happened there has been so much. From the very first line of "Don't forget the milk" can you believe how much this has grown? The family we have created is complex and I hope that you all are still enjoying the ride as much as we are. This month we have added several narrative scenes to the mix to hopefully explain some scenes better and to give you all a better understanding of how Steve and Danno are feeling. Sometimes things get miscommunicated through a text and read the wrong way. Our guys deal with that a lot. So, on to a new month. Enjoy!

September 1, 2018

9:10 pm

I don't get it, I really don't. I don't understand why none of them want more time with Charlie. Maybe it's because I missed so much of his life already that I want every waking minute I can get with him. Steve says it's because of work that we have weekends off, but that's not always true. We get called in on cases on the weekends and have to hand him off to Mary or have Grace and Nahele watch him. I want those extra mornings before school with him, I want to help him with homework and read to him more at night. The weekends go by so fast. I don't know. I'm out numbered yet again. It makes me want to leave in the mornings when Steve and the older two are swimming with the fish and go have breakfast with him, help get him ready for school but I know that would go over like a lead balloon.

I'm right, this is why parents kidnap their own children.


	2. Chapter 2




	3. Chapter 3




	4. Chapter 4

September 4, 2018

7 am

Steve is up with the kids, swimming with the fishies and some mornings I hate the quiet, others like today I'm enjoying it. Gracie's attitude last night has made me step back and reevaluate some things. Maybe Steve and I do text too much and she has a point. Some of it is mindless, some of it is things we need to say to one another but can't because there are ears, some young and some old, some of it is about cases or the team or family. I wonder if Tani and Junior text as much as we do or Tex and Mary, Grover and his wife. Are we really that bad? I'm going to try today and see how long I can go without sending him a text. I mean, how hard is it really to get up and go into his office? because I know there will be touching, there's always touching with him and he likes the view when I walk out. So yeah, I'm going to work on that today. Goals. Gotta have goals.

 


	5. Chapter 5




	6. Chapter 6

September 6, 2018

6:45 am

I don't know what is wrong with my kid this morning but oh my God. Charlie was a pistol last night and apparently is picking up right where he left off this morning. What part of No is he not understanding? I think I've shut the freezer door four times already telling him no ice cream. If Rachel has been giving him ice cream for breakfast I will strangle her. It doesn't make things any easier when she gives in to him and we don't know what's going on. Something is up with him because he rarely acts out like this. Maybe I should talk to Steve again about switching up our days that we have him. He's so stubborn sometimes. Steve not Charlie. Well, Charlie is as well. You would think Charlie were his son and not mine with how strongly he reacts to things.  I still feel like I'm missing out on the kid's life.

I hate it.

 


	7. Chapter 7




	8. Chapter 8




	9. Chapter 9




	10. Chapter 10




	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This day is dedicated to everyone who was affected by the events of 9/11. Whether you knew someone or not, our lives have forever been changed by that tragic day. To all the servicemen and firefighters who risked and lost their lives to help the wounded and trapped victims. Cops and firefighters and civilians who risked their lives... We thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you!

September 11, 2018

7:00 am

Bad and disturbing dreams are not how I wanted to start off this day. For once, I want to dream happy things the night before September 11th. It's a horrible day for me, for our country, for my fellow officers. It's like a double edged sword. In the morning is when I learned I was having a girl. Rachel called me and I remember being so excited. Every guy wants a boy to carry on the family name, but not me.  I wanted a girl. I wanted to spoil her like only dads can do. She was going to be my sidekick and I couldn't wait. Then my partner Grace and I got a lead on our case and the day went to hell. God. I try so hard to get past what happened. Some days are easier than others and the therapy helps. Sophia has been great at helping me put it behind me, to not focus on Grace's death every night when I try to sleep. I know what happened isn't my fault, but accepting that doesn't make losing her any easier. I miss her. I miss her smile, her sense of humor. She could turn my day around so quickly with just a few simple words. She was like Steve in some ways. Fearless, stubborn to the core and always had to drive my car. Sometimes I think that's why I'm scared one day I'll lose Steve, just like I lost her. But he's learned to pause before he leaps and I know that it's only for me and the kids that he doesn't take the risks he used to. 

God I love him so much. I need him today more than ever.

 


	12. Chapter 12




	13. Chapter 13




	14. Chapter 14




	15. Chapter 15

 

Conversations to Clear the Air

 

Danny lay on his side of the bed with his knee propped up on the pillow he swiped from Steve’s side of the bed. He worried the inside of his cheek as he waited for Steve to ascend the stairs and come join him in their bedroom. He was tired, had a mild headache forming behind his left eye and his knee was throbbing from all the walking in Chinatown. It wasn’t his intention to upset Steve with the questions about what his father and Joe had been doing the past few days, he was merely curious and it all came out wrong because he was exhausted.

It was no secret that he loathed all the classified bullshit Steve had to keep from him over the past nine years. Hated the stupid smirk he always seemed to have plastered on his handsome face just as much. But he considered Steve a hero and was beyond proud of him for his service to their country. Steve had read him all wrong and that was eating at Danny as he continued to wait impatiently to set things right with his husband. He would have gone downstairs and found Steve and explained, but his knee was screaming at him to stay put. He started to twiddle his thumbs when the door creaked open.

Steve entered the bedroom and closed the door behind him.  He went straight to the bathroom to change into his sweatpants that said Navy down the side of his leg.  They were the softest pair he owned and usually had to hunt them down in Nahele or Gracie’s drawers because they loved sleeping in them as well.  He brushed his teeth and turned off the bathroom light looking for anything in the bedroom that could distract him as to not start an argument with Danny. 

“I didn’t mean it the way it came across.” Danny broke the uneasy silence. “I don’t think Joe is up to anything…” Danny couldn’t think of an appropriate word that wouldn’t offend Steve. It was also no secret that Joe had hid his fair share of secrets from Steve over the years. “I just want to know what they’ve been up to. It’s not like my dad to just go off and not say what he’s doing.” 

Steve climbed into their bed knowing that he needed to say what was on his mind.  This was one of the lessons that they had learned through couple’s therapy and Gail.  Steve jumped out of bed as quickly as he had climbed into it. He brought back the ice pack from the bathroom.  “It’s that sometimes you hurt my feelings because I think you think that I want to keep secrets from you. I don’t.”

“I don’t mean to do that. I know you can’t tell me certain things. I just don’t like being out of the loop and left in the dark. It’s the smirk that follows that annoys the hell out of me.” Danny placed the ice pack on his knee. “Thank you.”

“Danny.  That was me messing with you.  Don’t you think I want you to know everything, every detail of my life?  You were my best friend for years before that ring. You still are. It’s just that I don’t think I can not not tell you if I had to do something again that caused me to not tell you.  And, you’re the one that comes looking for me when things go sideways. You’ve never left me. Never. And Ma doesn’t have a problem with Joe and Pops going off and doing their own thing, why should we?”

Danny rubbed his temples with his thumbs. “I don’t have a problem with whatever it is they are doing. I just want to know what they are doing. What’s wrong with that?”

“Then ask them.  Okay?”

Danny huffed and crossed his arms across his chest. “I did. They won’t tell me. Just like Joe told you. Grandpa stuff. Whatever the hell that is.”

“I can have Jer trace their phones.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not going to spy on them for crying out loud.”

“What do you want to do?”

“Nothing I guess. If they don’t want us to know, then whatever.” Danny tossed the ice pack to the side and gave Steve his pillow back. “You know, I don’t think that you serving our country was bullshit either. I’m proud of anyone who serves.”

“I know.  You and the kids have told me, shown me how proud you are of me.  It was me being frustrated not being able to tell you things. That’s all. I’m sorry for that.  That was me being a dick.”

Danny reached for the ice pack and placed it behind his head to try and dull the growing tension. He closed his eyes and willed the headache to go away. “You’re not a dick, Steve. Far from it.”

Steve saw that Danny was in pain.  “What can I do right now to make you feel better?”

“Kill the lights.” Danny muttered. “And put a muzzle on the dog two houses down.”

Steve wrapped himself into Danny careful to not make the pain worse.  “I love you. I will always tell you that.”

Danny rolled to his side and draped his bum knee over Steve’s legs. “Promise?”

“Always. Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever.”

Danny sighed with content as he felt Steve pull him closer. He shifted the ice pack back to his knee. “Will you rub my head?”

“Yeah, Babe.  I can do that.”

Danny’s eyes fluttered open when he felt Steve’s hand. “I meant my other head, babe.”

  
  
  
  



	16. Chapter 16

September 16, 2018

7:00 am

I'm so thankful to have the family that I do. I love Steve with everything that I have. And even though we have our difference of opinions on various ideas, at the end of the day, it's us together taking on the world. Regardless of our issue, Gail has taught us enough to be able to talk through our differences. And sometimes we just have to agree to disagree.

Having my parents here has been really nice. I just wish I knew what Joe and Pop have been up to when they go off together. Steve's right though, if Ma isn't worried, I shouldn't be either. The kids have enjoyed having them here as well. It's nice to have the grandparents around. With Pop here, Joe seems to be settling into grandpa mode more easily.

Now if I can just figure out how to get them to stay.

 


	17. Chapter 17




	18. Chapter 18




	19. Chapter 19

 

September 19, 2018

Decomp is the worst smell in the world. When Lou and I walked into that interrogation room, I thought I was going to lose my breakfast. Reminded me of being in Mexico burning a guys flesh to find a tattoo. yuck. Steve must be immune to it because he didn't put up too much of a fight when he switched me places. Maybe his sniffer doesn't work as well as mine. All I can say is gross and the clothes will be discarded. time to go shopping.

It has been great having my parents here again. Getting to spend more time with us and their other grandkids. Leave it to Bridget to call though to let them know they are still needed in Jersey. Ted needs to man up. Pop just rolled his eyes when I told him what she called for. I told him I would take care of it and not to worry.

And I love having Charlie here. Pop keeps telling me how much Charlie reminds him of me when I was little. I don't want them to go home. I miss having them around. I miss being able to go over for a cup of coffee at the end of the day. 


	20. Chapter 20




	21. Chapter 21

September 21, 2018

7am

Last night was a lot of fun. Despite the fact that Steve had to go through Stanley to get us into our favorite club, Ma and Pop enjoyed themselves and Steve and I had a great time as well. It's good to be able to spend time with them outside of the house. Rachel and I never went on dates with them like this. We always went out and they watched Gracie for us, if we ever got the chance to go out that is. When Steve and I got together, well, married, a small part of me worried what they would think of us as a couple, what they would think of me. But that all evaporated before it turned into anything. It was a great night with the people I love most in this world.

Nahele just came up and said Steve had cramped up while running. I need to go make sure he's okay.

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end piece was written by ERamos9696

 

Therapy with Pop

Danny looks down to realize he is holding his father's hand. He’s not sure when it happened, but he knows for certain that it hasn’t happened much since he was a little boy.  

Pops asks Danny, “Is this how scared you were every time I went to work?”

Danny realizes that he is reacting to what Gracie felt when Steve's injury had him getting stitches in his elbow. How she said that she knew that night he was fine but she thanked God and then cried herself to sleep knowing that this time he was lucky but eventually his luck would run out. 

Danny looks over to him and tells him, “but you came back home to us Pops, every time.”

Then Pops thinks about it and knows how many times that statement came very close to not being true. He looks over to his grandchildren seeing the same love in their eyes that he always saw in his own children's eyes. 

“You're a great father Danny.”

“So are you,” he responds. 

Pops continues with, “every time I would leave for work I would tell you, you were the man of the house and to take care of everyone while I was gone and I know that every time you took that seriously”. 

“I did”, Danny replies. 

“You are a terrific dad and you are the best son a man could ever hope for.”

Both Danny's and Pop's eyes well up. 

“I love you kiddo. I am so proud of you.”


	23. Chapter 23




	24. Chapter 24

September 24, 2018

8:00 am

I think the flu bug has officially struck me down. God I feel like shit and the room won't stop spinning. I hate Tex and his germs. Can't keep them in his own camp. No, he has to spread them to my entire family. First Steve, then Gracie, now me. I'm glad that Steve is feeling better. It worries me when he come's down with anything. He's always one of the first to catch the bugs that are being spread around. I really hope that Nahele doesn't catch it with as much as he's been checking our temps. So far Charlie is in the clear. The flu is the last thing he needs. It's almost time for his yearly check-up. Not ready for that day. Or today.

 


	25. Chapter 25




	26. Chapter 26

 


	27. Chapter 27

 

Dinner for Two

 

Danny ran his hands through his damp hair as he descended the steps into the living room. The familiar smell of Italian food filled the lower level. He made his way into the kitchen and discovered Steve in the process of dishing up two plates. Danny leaned against the counter and let a small smile tug at his lips.  He waved his hand in front of him perplexed. “When did you have time to do all of this?” he asked casually.

“You would not believe what you can do in an hour with the right motivation.”  He took a pause from putting the final touches on the meal to plant a kiss on his husband’s lips then finished with the salad.  Danny followed him out to the dining room table. Steve put both plates down and lit the three candles that Danny had not seen when he walked into the kitchen.  Steve pulled out the seat for his husband. “Please.”

“Wow.” Danny  smiled as he took a seat. “You did remember you have manners.” 

 

“I deserve that.”  Steve took it.

 

“No, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. We left it all at the office.” Danny hooked Steve’s elbow and pulled him down for a kiss. “Really. I’m sorry. Thank you. This is very nice.”

 

Steve welcomed the kiss.  “I really hope you like-- wait,”  Steve ran out of the room to retrieve the bottle of wine he had chilling,  “almost forgot the good stuff.” He poured them both a glass. 

 

“Where did Joe take the kids?”

 

“Some place fancy, expensive and totally out of our league.  He spoils those two. He spoils all of us. When I called him and told him what I was trying to do, he had called for the service to come get them before I finished telling him the plan.”

 

“Hey, I’m a little offended. Out of our league? We clean up quite nicely, thank you very much.”

 

“Oh, I know you do.  Gracie was more than excited to put on one of her new dresses and her new shoes.  I think Nahele likes to wear his suit.” Steve kept looking over the table to make sure he had not forgotten anything. He started with a small sip of his wine.  “Not bad for a hundred dollars a bottle.”

 

Danny had just taken a drink from his glass and about spit his mouthful across the table. “You paid a hundred bucks for this bottle? Are you crazy?”

 

“Of course not.  Joe did. He had the driver drop it off when they picked up the kids.  I Googled it though.”

 

Danny shook his head and couldn’t help but grin at Steve’s efforts. He raised his glass towards the middle of the table. “To us and to Joe.”

 

“Forever.”

Danny nodded in agreement. “To forever. Our forever.” 

 

Remembering something, Steve stood up and walked behind Danny and then leaned down to whisper into Danny’s ear, “I’m sorry.  I know you deserve more than this, but let me keep telling you I know I was asshole earlier. I’m sorry.” He walked into the kitchen.  Danny could hear the clatter. Steve returned with the forgotten salad.

 

“You’re not an asshole. A putz maybe, but not an asshole. You just read into my answers differently than they were intended. The things I kept from you in the beginning had no bearing on our partnership. Fights with Rachel just…” Danny paused and picked up his fork, tapping the table with it to try and find the right words, “fights with Rachel, I didn’t want to ever burden you with my personal problems. You couldn’t solve them for me.”

 

Steve was hanging on every word his husband said.  “Danny, I still want to know though. You’re my best friend.  My partner. My husband. Even if I can’t solve something, I still want you to know that I want to hear about it.”

 

“Okay, but eight years ago you weren’t any of those things to me. A pain in the ass maybe, who hijacked me from HPD and made me his reluctant partner. I didn’t know you from Sam Smith and I wasn’t going to let you in on every detail of my life. You’re acting like I’m talking about the here and now and I’m not. I’m talking about eight years ago.” 

 

“And Shelbourne was seven years ago.”  

 

Danny hesitated before he spoke, not really wanting to dig himself into a deeper hole but he couldn’t let it go. Shelbourne wasn’t the only thing Steve had kept from him. “What about the radiation poisoning? How long did you keep that from me?”

 

Steve put his fork down and reached over to put his hand on Danny’s.  “We’re doing it again.”

 

Danny blew out a frustrated breath. Steve was right. “Why do we do this to each other? I love you. And I hate it when I feel like this, agitated like I want to smack you upside the head.”

 

“I probably deserve it.”

 

“No, you don’t. If you do, then I do as well. Just Tani’s question caught me off guard and then you pulled your ‘what the fuck’ on me and I couldn’t figure out where our conversation took a left turn. I don’t want you to think that I have secrets or that I keep anything from you. I don’t.”

 

“I know.”  Steve put a ravioli into his mouth and was a little impressed with his own cooking.  Danny followed suit and nodded in agreement. Steve took another mouth full as Danny made a face.

 

“How did you manage all of this? I didn’t take that long of a shower.” He continued to stare at his husband and arched an eyebrow. “You know, you should really chew the previous mouthful before you shovel more food into your hole.” Danny put his fork down. “Are you choking?” Danny pushed his chair back and stood quickly, his napkin falling to the floor at his feet. “Steve…”

 

“No.”  Steve waved him off, laughing in the process.

 

“Jerk. You just scared the shit out of me.” Danny picked up his wine glass and took a long swallow, finishing the glass. “Why are you still laughing?” Danny asked as he sat back down and pulled his chair towards the table. He needed another glass of wine.

 

“You’re my hero.”

 

“Oh? You think I was going to save you? No, see I was going to push you to the side and finish off your plate.” Danny didn’t try to hide the smirk. 

 

“Really?”

 

“Oh yeah. Come on, babe, this is delicious.” Danny jerked to the side and Steve missed hitting him with the wadded up linen napkin. “I’m kidding! Of course I would have saved you.”

 

“Hey, Baby,” Steve drank more wine to push his food down.  “I’m totally in love with you. I hope you know I am never taking you for granted.”

Danny leaned over and picked the napkin up off the floor and tossed it back at his husband playfully. “I know. I’m sorry today went sideways.” Danny reached across the table and took Steve’s left hand and twisted the matching wedding band around Steve’s ring finger. “Sometimes saying ‘I love you’ doesn’t feel like enough. You know? Like the words aren’t strong enough to match how I feel. Does that make sense?”

 

“Everyday.  But this feels great.  I just needed to touch you.  Talk to you. Okay?”

 

Danny pushed his plate forward while pushing his chair back and standing up.

 

Steve pushed his own chair back not knowing what Danny was up to.  Once he realized everything was okay, he relaxed.

 

Danny walked around the table and leaned over and kissed Steve hard on the lips. “Thank you for this. For tonight and every night.” Danny straddled Steve’s thighs and sat down on his lap kissing his husband again. “What time will the kids be home?” He made a motion towards the stairs with his head and waggled his eyebrows. “We could save this for later and maybe take a detour upstairs. What do you say?”

 

Steve didn’t need to be asked twice.

 


	28. Chapter 28




	29. Chapter 29

 

Danny kissed his mother’s cheek goodnight before she and Eddie retreated to the house. Tomorrow was their flight home and Clara had put off packing long enough. Danny had convinced himself over the course of the afternoon it was because she secretly didn’t want to leave. At least that’s what he kept telling himself. He settled back into his chair as Steve said goodnight to his in-laws.

It had been a beautiful clear night with a gentle breeze blowing in off the ocean. The bonfire had been Charlie’s idea. He didn’t last long once Gracie made him a couple of smores and he had snuggled into Eddie’s arms. It wasn’t long after he was fast asleep. Nahele had taken him inside and tucked him into bed for his parents, Grace following close behind so she could get in some Will texting time before she was told to put it away for the night.

Danny closed his eyes and sighed with content. Life was good. He shifted in his beach chair and draped his legs over the arm, planting them in Steve’s lap.

“I know that you are going to have a hard time with tomorrow.”

Danny quirked an eyebrow. “Like you’re not?” He grinned at his husband and stared up at the starry sky. “It’s kinda bittersweet, you know. Them coming out to visit. I love it when they are here, hate it when they have to leave.”

“Come here.”  Steve made room for his husband to sit in between his legs.

Danny stood up and turned his chair towards Steve, another idea popping into his head instead. He rotated it so the chairs were almost touching. He sank back into his chair and deposited his feet into Steve’s lap again. This was better. Now they could touch _and_ see each other. Steve raised his legs and tucked his feet behind Danny’s hips.

“Do me a favor and don’t get too footsy.  I don’t want to walk into the house with a hard on.”

“Who said anything about walking back to the house? I can take care of that problem right where we are.” Danny waggled his eyebrows.

“Don’t even. And before you get into a mood, this is the first moment we’ve had to talk about the whole _Stan thing_.”

Danny groaned and pushed a bare foot into Steve’s chest. “Do we have to ruin a good night by talking about Stanley?”

“Ouch,” Steve grabbed for his chest, “and no we don’t.  But I think it is important that we do.”

“Oh please. That didn’t hurt. You let bad guys crack you upside the head and this,“ Danny poked his big toe into his husband for added emphasis, “this right here makes you say _ouch_?”

“If you want I can leave it alone.”  Steve knew that the foot pushing was just an attempt to side track him.  “It’s your call. I will respect your decision.” Steve looked at his husband awaiting some kind of sign.

Danny blew out a breath. He really didn’t want to talk about Stan but knew that Steve deserved some kind of explanation. “I know that you think a lot of the guy, okay? He stuck around for the sake of the kids when he didn’t have to and I appreciate that, I do. But God, I don’t know. I gotta draw the line somewhere with the guy invading every aspect of my life.”

“I don’t think he was trying to offend us.  It was just an offer. And I know we were going to say no.  I just want to talk about it. Okay?”

“You’re damn right we were going to say no.” Danny bristled at the mere thought of Stan being a partner in their restaurant. “I want the restaurant to succeed because of us, not because of Stan and his connections or how much money the guy has that he can pour into it.” Danny waved his finger between himself and Steve. “It’s mine and it’s yours and whether it succeeds or fails, it’s going to be on my terms.”

“Our terms.”  Steve corrected him.

Danny rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.” He clasped his fingers together and twirled his thumbs trying to figure out how to explain his distaste for the guy. “Look, I haven’t always made the best decisions in my life. Getting back together with Rachel would be high on that list.”

“You almost did when you thought, you know, but you stayed.”

“Another thing for her to hold over my head. How I chose you over our family.”

“I’m sorry and not sorry.”

“Rachel and I had our problems. You know, every marriage does, but despite those problems, I still loved her. She just decided one day the grass was greener on the other side. She chose to leave and Stan knew she was married.” Danny held up his hand before Steve could respond. “I know, I’m the last one to be talking about affairs and how wrong they are. So you know, I didn’t like the guy from the get go. And then they get married right away after our divorce and he moves my daughter 5000 miles away from me and my only choice was to follow. I lost everything that I loved to that man. I sold everything I had to make the move and once I got here, I was told I only got to see Gracie twice a week and every other weekend. Who the fuck does that? I wasn’t a rotten father. There was no reason to keep her from me. And don’t even try and say that wasn’t Stan’s doing, okay? He could have talked some sense into Rachel. He could have said, _yes_ , let the man see his daughter. But he didn’t. You know how that made me feel that I couldn’t even see her? I wasn’t a bad father and together they took her away from me. So excuse me if I don’t roll out the red carpet for him and his offers. And then she knew Charlie was mine and chose to keep that from both of us. I’m surprised he didn’t leave her then.”

Steve waited for Danny to finish.  This was a conversation they had many times.  “Baby, I know. But the Stan now, the guy we know today, feels almost like you do.”  Steve watched as Danny gave him a look of disgust. “He lost a lot too.”

“They aren’t his to lose,” Danny snapped suddenly.

“Like they’re not mine to lose?”  This was a different type of punch to the gut.

“Don’t do that.”

“You said it!”

“You're not the one who took my wife and daughter away from me, he is.” Danny dropped his feet into the sand and pushed up out of the chair. “You plan on leaving me too and then fighting for visitation of them as well?”

“What the fuck?  You just took it there?  All I’m trying to say as the non blood related man in this house, I get the pain Stan has.  I appreciate that he still loves our children. And for one fucking minute I wish you would remember that.”

Danny turned his back and walked to the edge of the water, kicking up the sand in the process. Why did he always feel like he was the one who had to cave? The one who had to be understanding. He dropped down on the sand and folded his legs in front of him. “I’m tired of this fight, I’m tired of sharing them.”

“Yeah, okay.”  Steve stood frozen behind Danny. “Yeah, alright.”  Steve turned back towards the house and stopped to turn back to his husband. “You keep hating on the guy.  You do whatever you gotta do to keep blaming him for the shit you and Rachel caused. But try to remember that I, me, Danny, all I am guilty of is loving you and our, your, children unconditionally.  So be pissed. I’ll hate him too if it makes you feel better. That’s on you.” Steve threw dirt on the bonfire to put it out and started back for the house.

Danny stared out at the ocean, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He couldn't contain the shiver as the wind picked up. The water lapped the edge of the beach and he tried to remember what he hated about this place when he first got here. He complained a lot about anything and everything. The sand, the sun, the damn pineapples. Steve was right. He did blame Stanley for the shit storm caused by him and Rachel’s rocky relationship. Sometimes it’s too hard to look in the mirror and see that the problem is staring back at you. It’s time he shouldered part of the blame. “So how do I let it go?” he asked the empty night air, not expecting an answer. “How do I step back and let him have his place without it killing me in return?”

“Danno.” Nahele said behind him and Danny jumped. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop or scare you. I swear. Sorry.  I was in the treehouse listening to Sam go on about her stupid English class, and then you and Dad came out this way, and I was just kinda stuck.”  Nahele planted himself next to him putting his arm around him. “Can I ask you something?”

Danny swiped at a tear he hadn’t realized had trickled down his cheek. ”Ask away.”

“You and Dad keep telling me how much you love me.  You both have told me that you two couldn’t love me anymore even if I was your blood.  Is that true?”

Danny dropped his head. The shoe was now on the other foot. “I know what your going to say, Nahele.” He turned his head and stared at his son. _His son…_ He loved the kid with every ounce of his being. He pulled Nahele close to him and kissed the top of his head. “You’re right. I couldn’t love you more if you were my own blood. But I don’t know how to step back and let Stan have that same privilege. How do I do that?”

“It takes time, Dad.  But you can’t just let Stan have that same privilege, he already loves them.  You just need time to accept that. Between all the time it took Dad to realize how he was madly in love with you and how long it took you to say yes, I’m surprised you two don’t get how short life really is.”  Nahele stood up to walk a few steps away from his father. “Dad, when I lived on the streets, there were so many times I thought I was going to die. And then I met Dad, and then now, sometimes I think I shouldn’t have the privilege to love all of you, then I remember it’s too late.  It takes time.”

“When did you get so smart?” Danny turned his head to stare at his oldest. His breath caught in his throat when he caught a glimpse of Steve standing behind Nahele.

Steve kissed his son on the forehead.  “Love you. Good night.”

Nahele walked over to Danno and kissed him goodnight. “I love you Dad.”

Both men watched as Nahele walked back to the side of the house.

Steve just stared at his husband with a hoodie in his hand.  “I figured you would be getting cold out here. I saw you talking to our kid from our balcony.”

Danny reached up and accepted the hoodie. He slipped it on over his head and tugged it into place. “Thank you.” He patted the sand next to him. “Please.”

“It’s just a hoodie.”  Steve took his place next to his husband.  

“It’s not just for the hoodie.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Why do I make it so hard? Nahele kind of turned it around on me.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.  I know I’m not supposed to walk away.”

“You didn’t walk away. You went to get me a hoodie.”

“Okay.  Alright.”  Steve kissed a light kiss on Danny’s cheek.  “I love you.”

“I’ll work on not hating on the guy anymore.” Danny reached over and laced his fingers with Steve’s and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “It's just so damn hard.”

“Okay.”  Steve stood up and brought his husband up with him.  “Can we talk about it in bed?”

Danny shook his head. “No. I draw the line at talking about Stanley in bed.”

“Fair enough.  We don’t need to talk about anything.  But we have a long day tomorrow.”

Danny groaned and dropped his forehead to Steve’s chest. “Do they have to leave?”

“I know Babe.”  This time Steve kissed his husband hard enough to bruise his lips.

“Come on,” Danny tugged at Steve’s waist. “I’m exhausted.”  


	30. Chapter 30

September 30, 2018

It's time for my parents to go home and just like any other visit, I'm not ready for them to leave. It has been great having them here, sharing breakfast in the mornings and dinner in the evenings. It's been a long time since I've had this much time with them. I have no words to express how excited I am that they are looking at condos here. The girls are going to be upset but I really don't care. They have access to mom and dad all the time. I miss them, my parents, sometimes my sisters too. And I'm going to let it go that Pop and Joe kept it from us for so long.

As they get older, I want them closer, I want to see them more often. I want them to be here as the kids grow up so they don't miss anymore of their lives than they already have because of a certain ex of mine. Charlie just hangs on Ma all the time and Gracie loves spending time with Pop listening to all his firefighter stories. And Nahele... well, that kid loves them so much.

 

**Author's Note:**

> To Liz... Sometimes there are not enough words to express how much you mean to me. I enjoy spending my day with you through texting. I begin and end my day with you and Steve. You truly have Steve's voice down and when we are exchanging texts, I feel like I am talking to the Neanderthal. Sometimes I have to step back and remind myself we are just pretending to be these two people and to not get mad at you for something you just wrote. It's crazy how the persona takes over when we are texting. I love you my friend. Thank you for always being there.


End file.
